Apple Pie + Baseball = America

Call to arms all Americans!!! Your patriotism is in question. Put down your bible and rosary sister Beatrice and pick up a program, the love of your life is about to make your day. Ride your bike down to Fenway little Timmy and try to sneak in to witness what everyone will be talking about tomorrow. Mom and Dad take off your blue collars and make your way back home and cuddle up in front of the TV, radios, or MLB.TV online and let your minds wander through lush green grass, clay and white chalk base paths. It is time for the citizens of this great country to fall in love once again with the greatest game ever created.

Year in and year out the game of baseball makes its presence felt from late February continuing into fall knocking on the winter’s door. The baseball owners’ winter meetings bring hope and anticipation of the impending season. When your favorite team lands a high profile free agent the excitement sets in and makes the memories of a mediocre season just a couple months prior subside.

The iconic voice of James Earl Jones in ‘Field of Dreams’ states, “the one constant throughout the years, has been baseball…”

Baseball is used in patriotic comparisons. If someone does not like the amazing game of Baseball they are basically committing treason and not following there nationalistic duty. Oh yeah, how does Apple pie get lumped into the patriotic equation with Baseball. So it is my understanding that Baseball + Apple Pie= America? Ok, just clarifying. The game of baseball is so entrenched in the American spirit that the U.S. President year after year makes an appearance to throw out first pitch at a baseball game. Think back to the atrocities committed in the 9/11 attacks. Where was President Bush in the following days to put forth the message that he was not intimidated.  He was throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game in NYC.

Although a large % of players in today’s baseball are not originally from here, once they become a member of our favorite team we love them like they are blood brothers. If they start performing above and beyond you better make a constitutional amendment because that man deserves to be president. The game of baseball embodies the American spirit and is truly a melting pot of experience, culture, and hope.

Baseball is our friend. We think so highly of it that we began using the bases to describe how a romantic relationship is progressing. Check it:

                1^st base- Kissing significant other

                2^nd base- Exploring one another through petting

                3^rd base- everything except for sex

                Homerun … well you know ;)

In my experience with relationships where I have had to explain my infatuation… nay, obsession with Baseball. Each instance requires the person to also be a fan, or they have to, withholding judgment, actually see me in action at a game critiquing, rooting, crying, laughing, and helping my team to play better. The following is a typical conversation held between a diehard fan and a newbie:

Me: well… what did you think of the game?

Significant other: I guess I really did not understand that you LOVE baseball… like L-O-V-E baseball.

Me: I told you that I loved this game and everything involved with it. I told you that its an obsession, I warned you.

Significant other: yes I know you said you loved baseball but I didn’t realize it was THAT important to you. I need to reassess things.

Me: reassess?

The closest example I can give you is that scene from ‘Fever Pitch’ where Jimmy Fallon’s character has that same conversation with his girlfriend (Drew Barrymore… horrible actress btw).  

Instead of comparing relationships to Baseball, how about have a relationship with baseball Live and die every game with your team with complete reckless abandon emotionally. You do the same everyday in a relationship with someone who is your soul mate and half the time in the US that ends up in divorce. You don’t have to worry about Baseball not coming home; it just goes south for the offseason to play in winter leagues and then comes back in late February-early March. Just like clockwork. Instead of having a passing interest in America’s game try giving it a chance to be your one and only.

Complete devotion to game rewards you in the end with countless memorable moments throughout the season and stories that you can tell your nieces, nephews, and the children of future generations. This one time I saw a game…  Sadly one cannot reproduce with baseball although an accurate representation of what a human/baseball offspring would look like would be Don Zimmer. ‘The Zim’ is a man who was around the game his whole life and towards the end of his career in the game he even began resembling a baseball. Becoming rounder and rounder as the years progressed. And after being body slammed by Pedro Martinez in a Yanks and Sox bench clearer he was pale white and needed some stitches. I hope they were red.

Q: Who loves baseball?

A: America does! Get on board everybody. It’s a ride you won’t regret. See ya at the game!